This is written for NM4248 Lifestyle Writing where I was supposed to write a personality profile of a newsworthy individual of my choice.
Spurred on by his goal of advocating for the voiceless, Abu Ubaidah Bin Eliase made a remarkable turnaround from a depressed kidney failure patient to a star student. PHOTO: ERICA KUO
As Abu Ubaidah Bin Eliase’s phone rang, its melodious ringtone hid an ominous message. The call came from the doctor whom he saw that very afternoon. What was just a five minutes phone call set the tone of Abu’s life forever.
Abu has IgA Nephropathy, an autoimmune kidney disease that damages his kidney cells, hampering his kidneys’ ability to filter waste from his blood.
“My heart dropped … my body's slowly killing me, but I don't even perceive it. I was anxious about the future … And lost, definitely, very lost,” Abu says when he first found out about his diagnosis.
Back then, Abu was serving his National Service (NS). He was at his fittest. No one would have suspected that he will have a kidney disease.
He often felt dizzy but thought it would be “an easy fix with medication” since his family has a history of high blood pressure.
However, a kidney biopsy confirmed he had the worst form of IgA Nephropathy, where most of his kidney cells were dead or about to die.
He rushed down to the hospital on the very day he got the phone call. He was infused with steroids and chemotherapy drugs in hopes of suppressing his immune response to keep his condition from deteriorating.
The medication’s side effects are “horrible”, Abu says with a sigh.
During the first month, Abu had a brush with depression. The once bubbly and extroverted young man became introverted overnight and hid at home.
“I did not want to explain my illness to people … I needed to be away from people and just disengage … escape for a while,” Abu recounts.
He recalled how people blamed him for his illness – that he is not praying enough, not eating properly or that he is too fat.
Feeling isolated, he secluded himself from his friends by watching anime, an escape from his fate and a singular source of happiness for him.
In time, the extrovert in him grew weary. He craved interaction and the exuberance of being around his friends. He realised he needed to pull himself up, which he started by preparing a Facebook post that will help those curious understand his condition.
Initially, he attended a poetry event with his close friends but as his body swelled up from water retention, his friends couldn’t recognise him.
Though it upset him, his friends, thankfully, were very understanding and made him feel accepted.
Eventually, Abu managed to complete his NS and enrolled at the National University of Singapore (NUS) as a Social Work and Sociology undergraduate in 2018.
“I always had an inkling that I wanted to do social work but what really pushed me was my illness. Since I might not live for so long, I thought in the time I have here, I want to do something for the most vulnerable people in society,” Abu says with conviction.
However, Abu’s obstacles towards his dreams did not end here.
While on steroids and chemotherapy drugs during his first year in NUS, he missed out on orientation camps. He even considered withdrawing from school as his ability to focus was suboptimal due to nauseousness and fatigue from the medication.
“What's the point of going to school, I'm not gonna survive university anyway. And my family is not very rich so I don’t want to tap into my parents’ money for school fees,” the middle child of five siblings says.
Nonetheless, being a problem-solver, he strived to continue schooling to fulfil his purpose of advocating for the voiceless through applying for various financial aids and scholarships.
This was when he met with another hurdle.
One year into university, he was diagnosed with kidney failure. He had to start dialysis as his kidneys could no longer filter wastes from his blood.
During this time, Abu was also shortlisted for a scholarship. However, he did not hear from the organisation after he declared his health condition.
“That's the first time I was like, oh my god, people don't see me as a normal person," Abu recounts.
Without this scholarship, Abu will have to get a loan to continue his studies. However, he is averse to getting one.
“What if something happens and I can't work and I have to depend on other people? I want to pay through this and depend on myself.”
Thankfully, Abu managed to cope with the finances when he obtained the Social Service Award due to his active involvement in co-curricular activities and stellar academic results.
Attempting to juggle between his studies and his condition, Abu saves precious time by undergoing peritoneal dialysis at home every night through a catheter that is surgically attached to his abdomen, all while sleeping.
Even so, dialysis did not make his life all sunshine and roses.
“The first night when I did it, I was frightened that the tube will drop when I move. So I slept in one position and woke up with a cramped back,” Abu says while laughing.
Even though he grew accustomed to dialysis and it no longer felt painful, the lack of time has been a constant issue for him.
With the catheter, he takes more than 40 minutes to bathe as he has to dress the wound every single time he showers. Furthermore, the frequent blood tests and check-ups also took up a bulk of his time.
This lack of time affected his ability to perform in school.
“For someone with 24 hours a day, they can plan what they are going to do in the morning, afternoon and evening. But for me, 12 hours of my time is gone due to dialysis,” Abu says.
Dietary restrictions are another issue.
“Whenever I eat red meat, I have to take calcium pills in between my meals. Also, I can only drink a litre of water daily, so thirst is a very big inconvenience cause I feel like I cannot do anything when I’m thirsty,” Abu says.
When asked how he dealt with these inconveniences, Abu adds matter-of-factly, “sometimes you have to adapt to it”.
How did Abu continue to be hopeful despite the many curveballs life threw at him?
“I always see the brighter side of life. I was down for a period of time but once I am used to the illness, the happy part of me comes back. My parents were also very supportive throughout. And of course, friends whom I can bounce off ideas with makes school less tough,” Abu says.
Today, you wouldn’t be able to tell that Abu has been through such tumultuous times at his young age.
Determined to live a normal life, he joined the NUS Jazz Band as a singer and served in the Society of Social Work Students as the secretary. He even got on the Dean’s List, where he ranked top 5 per cent in his cohort, in his third year.
“These activities make me feel more alive,” Abu says.
Unsure how long he will live, Abu aims to work in a social service organisation that advocates for the vulnerable and to continue performing for as long as he can.
Through his experiences, Abu has learned that there is so much more to humans.
“No matter what happens, we can achieve our dreams as long as we don’t give up.”
The tone of life is not determined by one’s circumstances, but by one’s attitude towards them.
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